Monday, September 24, 2007

Oooooohh! I get all goosebumply....

When I consider the following conversation:

Taxpayer-to-Senator 'X': "OK, so now you've been using the same accounting method that you make everyone else use for a while, let's see the books. (Scanning the balance sheet) Umm, where is the money for future Social Security and Medicare expenses?"

Senator 'X'-to-Taxpayer: "Oh, well, you see...we don't have to account for that money."

Taxpayer: "Why is that, exactly?"

Senator: "Because you see, the future payments for SS and MC are "promises", but they're not actual, true, legal obligations."

T: "So what are you telling me, you're not going to pay retirees or provide them free medical care?"

S: "Oh, no, of course we will."

T: "But, you don't HAVE to?"

S: "Right."

T: "So, then where is all the money that you collect for SS and MC?"

S: "It's...(unintelligible)."

T: "What? What did you say?"

S: "It's in the 'General Fund'."

T: "Wait a mean to tell me that all the money you collect from me for SS and Medicare isn't being put aside for me, but is just getting spent on your pet pork barrel crap?!"

S: "Well, you've never objected before."

T: "So I've put all this money into what I thought was my retirement and you've just been spending it - and all I've got to show is a non-binding, non-obligatory "promise" from you to give it back to me when I retire? Is THAT what you're trying to tell me?"

S: "Don't worry about it. You'll get your money."

T: "Well, how much have you currently "promised" to pay?"

S: "Uh, ummm, about...around...I think...something like...$60 Trillion"


S: "No, it's OK"

T: "It's not OK, you asshole! The number of workers necessary to support that level of benefit payment - we ain't got!

S: "Well, if you'd quit bitching about securing our borders, we will."

T: "So that's your plan? Import workers to stave off the collapse of our benefits programs - and so what if they sneak a nuke through our southern border?"

S: "That's not gonna happen."

T: "You are un-fucking-believable - do you know that?"

S: "Look, you just need to trust me."

T: (Grabbing Senator 'X' by the earlobe) "No. Never again. Let me tell you what you are going to do. You are going to start putting all the money you collect for SS and MC and all the other benefits you've "promised" aside - and you are NOT GOING TO SPEND IT. Then, you are going to pass a law officially recognizing your OBLIGATION to pay what you've promised. Then, you are going to figure out a way - without raising taxes - to collect and save enough to pay for all of this. Do I make myself clear?

S: (Unintelligible)


S: "Yes, sir."

T: "Then, you are going to secure our Southern Border with Mexico. I mean, SECURE the border. Do you understand? I don't care how many you let in, so long as we know who they are and where they are. Am I getting through to you, son? Are you clear on the concept?

S: "Yes, perfectly clear."

T: "That's good. Now, I want to see a report on your progress every TWO YEARS, got it?"

S: "Yes, sir."

T: "Fine. Now get out of here, you make me sick."


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